


the truth hurts so

by hhwgv



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Allydia - Freeform, F/F, Femslash, werewolf!Lydia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-06
Updated: 2015-12-06
Packaged: 2018-04-29 14:49:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5131601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hhwgv/pseuds/hhwgv
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lydia battles her inner desire to tell Allison her secret. Will it help their relationship grow or destroy it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	the truth hurts so

**Author's Note:**

  * For [laoisemc](https://archiveofourown.org/users/laoisemc/gifts).



> I hope you enjoy! This was my first time writing Allydia and I had a lot of fun doing it!
> 
> A huge thanks to [Neon](http://bottcmderek.tumblr.com), who was so wonderful and beta’d this for me!
> 
> The title is from the song _While We're Young_ by Marianas Trench.

_it's easier not to know..._

 

The night air was cool and refreshing against Lydia’s face as she walked through the darkened woods, listening to the sounds of the wind rustling through the canopy of leaves overhead, the birds and insects chirping, the cars speeding down the highway, and people laughing and talking beyond that. The leaves crunched beneath her feet as she walked, trying to suppress the medley of thoughts and emotions that were currently flooding her brain. However, there was something about the darkness that was more comforting than Lydia could describe. She felt safe and contained, like she could hide and keep hidden forever.

 

The daylight couldn’t be more opposite. She was beginning to feel like she couldn’t keep her secret any longer – she couldn’t pretend to be something she wasn’t. Ever since she met Allison – ever since Allison had turned her life around – Lydia had felt the need to tell getting stronger and stronger. Part of her knew that it would be a bad idea. The Argents were hunters – _infamous_ hunters – and Lydia had known off the bat that getting involved with Allison wasn’t smart.

 

As far as Lydia knew, Allison was still blissfully unaware of what she was. Allison didn’t know that she was a werewolf – hell, Lydia didn’t even know if Allison knew that she came from a family of hunters.

 

Simply put, Lydia was in love. She’d never felt this way before – not about any of the guys _or_ girls she had dated in the past. Allison was different. Allison was special. Lydia didn’t know why she felt this way – about _Allison_ of all people – but she knew that she didn’t want to lie to her anymore.

 

Lydia was snapped out of her reverie by the tinny sound of her cell phone ringing. She smiled when she looked at the screen and saw Allison’s name shining back at her. “Hey, Allie,” she answered, her smile evident in her voice.

 

“Hey, Lydia,” Allison responded in a sing-song voice. “You should, uh, come over,” she suggested. “My parents are gone and I don’t think they’ll be back for a while.”

 

Lydia laughed softly. “Yeah, sure,” she replied. “I’ll be there in a bit.” If there was one thing Lydia could count on, it was that she would do pretty much anything Allison wanted her to.

 

“Great,” Allison said quietly. “I’ll see you soon,” and she hung up without another word.

 

Lydia stuffed her phone back into her pocket and turned around to walk back home. She opened the front door, grabbed her keys off of the table, and got into her car. It was a short drive to Allison’s house and Lydia drove there without paying any real attention to the road, seemingly instinctively. Lydia knocked on the heavy wooden door and grinned when Allison opened it.

 

“Hi,” Allison smiled. “C’mon in,” she said, grabbing Lydia’s hand and pulling her upstairs to her room. “So,” she started as she flopped down onto her bed, “I was thinking maybe we could watch a movie or something.”

 

Lydia nodded absentmindedly, her gaze drifting around the room, marvelling at the familiarity of it all. She remembered the first time she'd been there, how nervous she'd been. But then she'd seen the pastel walls and smelled the sweet scent of strawberries and vanilla and it was all so _Allison_ that she'd relaxed.

 

Now this bedroom felt like it was hers. Lydia spent just as much – if not _more_ – time in Allison's room as her own. She crawled into the bed and laid next to Allison. “Sounds perfect,” she murmured, inhaling the familiar scent of Allison's shampoo. “What do you want to watch?” she asked, snuggling closer to Allison as the brunette flipped through Netflix.

 

“What about this one?” Allison suggested, setting in a movie that appeared to be a ridiculously cheesy rom-com about vampires and werewolves. Lydia was torn – she hated movies about werewolves because they were always ripe with inaccuracies, but she loved cheesy rom-coms.

 

“Sure,” Lydia shrugged and Allison smiled at her as she pressed play.

 

Lydia’s favourite part of watching any movie with Allison was listening to the other girl’s heart rate rise and fall depending on the intensity of what was going on on-screen. She couldn’t stop herself from stealing glances at Allison – she was so beautiful, she was perfect.

  
  
When the movie ended, Allison straightened up a little bit as she stopped it. “Can you imagine if werewolves and those kinds of things were actually real?” Allison mused. “It would be so crazy.” There was something strange in her voice – something calculating and suspicious.  
  
Lydia could practically feel Allison’s eyes on her as she tried to figure out what to say. She was tired of lying to Allison and she knew that she couldn’t do it for thei rest of her life but she knew that telling Allison would go against anything she’d ever been taught. After a few moments of silently wrestling with herself, she took a deep breath. “I have to tell you something,” Lydia said, pulling away from Allison so that she was facing her.

  
“What is it?” Allison asked, worry lining her face.  


“I…” Lydia started, unsure of what she was going to say. Doubt was still swirling through her mind and as she stared into Allison’s face she felt a pang of regret. She couldn’t tell, she just couldn’t. “I…” she repeated, “I love you.”  


All of the worry that had been evident on Allison’s face melted away as she broke into a grin. “I love you, too,” she said, pressing a gentle kiss to Lydia’s lips.

 

Lydia tried her best to repress the guilt that was bubbling up in her chest as she and Allison lay back down. “Do you want to watch another movie?” Allison asked, her breath warm on Lydia’s skin.

 

“Sure,” Lydia replied. “Pick whatever you want.” She watched as Allison flipped through the movies, finally choosing one that promised to be just as cheesy and sappy as the previous one.

 

At some point during the movie, Lydia fell asleep. She hadn’t been paying much attention to it anyway, so it wasn’t like it was that big of a deal. The only thing she remembered from the movie was that the girl’s name was Jo and she was in love with someone who didn’t love her back.

 

Lydia was jolted awake by the sound of Allison’s garage door opening. She looked at the time and realized that she had stayed a lot longer then she had intended to. She pressed a quick kiss to Allison’s cheek – who turned over and huddled deeper into her blankets – and quietly snuck out through the window.

 

The hair had cooled significantly since Lydia had arrived at Allison’s and she pulled her jacket tighter around herself as she crossed the street to her car. As she settled into the driver’s seat, she pulled out her phone. She knew it was late, but she had a feeling that Scott would be up anyway, so she quickly texted him. It only took a few minutes before she heard her phone buzz on the seat next to her. When she came to a stop at the next set of lights, she quickly checked to see what Scott had said.

 

It didn’t take long before she was parked in front of his house, where he was sitting on the front steps waiting for her. She was just out of her car by the time Scott was already standing next to her. “What is it?” he asked. “What kind of advice do you need?”

 

“Well, I – I need some advice about Allison,” Lydia answered uncertainly. Scott gave her a look that told her to continue. “I hate lying to her. I feel like the longer I keep what I am a secret, the more I feel like I’m lying to her. What do you think that I should do?”

 

“Lydia, you _can’t_ tell her,” Scott replied.

 

“Why not?” Lydia protested as they walked back to the door of his house. “ _You_ told Kira and _she’s_ human.”

 

“That’s not the reason you can’t tell her,” Scott responded, opening the front door and leading her inside. “Allison’s an _Argent_. They kill werewolves – she’ll kill _all_ of us.”

 

“Allison’s different,” Lydia told him. “She wouldn’t kill anyone. And besides, what am I supposed to do? Just go on lying to her?”

 

“I don’t know, Lydia. What if you tell her and she tells her dad? Or if you’re wrong about her not being like the rest of her family?” Scott asked as they sat down in the living room. “You’re not just putting yourself at risk, you’re putting _all_ of us at risk – Derek, Boyd, Isaac, Erica, and Liam, too.”

 

“But I can’t keep doing this,” Lydia replied.

 

“Then maybe you shouldn’t,” Scott said quietly. “There is another option besides lying to her and telling her.”

 

“You think I should break up with her?” Lydia couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Scott shrugged and Lydia shook her head. “I can’t – I can’t break up with her.”

 

“Then I don’t know what else to tell you,” Scott responded. “I’m sorry. I just _don’t_ think it’s a good idea for you to tell her.”

 

“Okay, well, thanks for being absolutely _no_ help,” Lydia told him, standing up from the table and walking out the door before he had a chance to say anything more. She got into her car and slammed the door – she couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

 

As she drove home she realized that Scott was right – breaking up with Allison was an option, but it was one that Lydia didn’t want to consider. She _needed_ Allison. They’d been together for almost a year already and when Lydia pictured the end of her life, it was always with Allison. She was still stuck – asking Scott for advice had done nothing except give her an option that she was unwilling to even think about.

 

When she got home, she went straight to her room and sunk into her bed, hoping for soothing, dreamless sleep so that she could forget about everything for a while. She just wanted a few hours where she wasn’t thinking about the fact that Allison was from a family of hunters or that Allison’s aunt Kate had tried to kill her or the fact that she felt like she was lying to Allison whenever they were together. All she wanted was to sleep and wake up feeling rested.

 

What she got, however, were nightmares. She saw Allison standing over her, ready to deliver the final blow. She saw Allison lighting her house on fire – just like the Argents had done to the Hales _years_ ago. She saw Scott with his heart torn out, Isaac without his head, and every other werewolf she’d ever met lying dead on the ground – all due to Allison and her family.

 

Lydia woke up feeling more exhausted than she had been when she’d fallen asleep the night before. Between all of the nightmares she’d gotten about five hours of poor quality sleep. She wanted to just turn over and go back to sleep, but she knew that wasn’t an option, so she rolled herself out of bed and into the shower – where she tried desperately to wash away the memories of what she’d seen while she was asleep. She didn’t want to think about it anymore – she couldn’t.

 

“Have you decided what you’re going to do?” Scott asked when he saw her at lunch. He looked concerned and genuinely interested.

 

“I don’t think I’m going to tell her,” Lydia replied wearily. “I don’t know what could happen and I don’t want to be the reason anything bad happens,” she explained as they sat down at one of the tables to wait for the others. She’d always hated the cafeteria – it looked disgusting and gaudy and was always hot and smelled like a million different foods mixed together.

 

“Good,” Scott responded as he took his lunch out of his backpack. “I think you’re making the right choice.”

 

“Yeah,” Lydia mumbled, looking down at the food in front of her. She wasn’t very hungry. She wasn’t as sure as Scott that she was making the right choice, but after the terrors she’d witnessed the night before, she wasn’t as keen to tell Allison as she’d been earlier. Part of Lydia wanted to avoid Allison for the rest of the day so that she wouldn’t feel so horribly guilty or be reminded of the nightmares, but she knew she couldn’t for very much longer. Especially not when Allison was slipping into the seat across from her.

 

“Hey,” Allison grinned as she set down her lunch tray in front of her. “I feel like I haven’t seen you all day.”

 

“I, uh, I’ve been busy. Homework, you know,” Lydia muttered, focusing on the food in front of her. She looked up and her gaze met Allison’s and she knew, in that moment, that she was going to tell her anything.

 

“We’re still studying after school, right?” Allison asked, picking up her sandwich.

 

“Yeah, sure,” Lydia answered with a small, unconvincing smile.

 

The rest of the school day seemed to fly by and before Lydia knew it, she was in her car, driving towards Allison’s house. Allison was still in the driveway when Lydia pulled up behind her. “Do you want to start with chem?” Allison suggested as they walked up the front step.

 

“Sure,” Lydia shrugged, trying to think of the words she was going to say.

 

They walked up the stairs to Allison’s room and sat down on her bed. “Wait,” Lydia said as Allison started pulling her books out of her backpack. “I have something I need to tell you first.”

 

“Okay,” Allison’s eyes were wide and curious as she scooted closer to her. “What is it?” There was something in Allison’s dark eyes that seemed strange and out of place – something that Lydia had never seen before. There was an edge of suspicion to her voice and part of Lydia wanted to run, to forget about telling Allison, but she couldn’t chicken out again.

 

“I’m…” Lydia paused and took a deep breath. “I’m a… a werewolf,” she finally managed. She struggled to look Allison in the eye – especially since there was a tense silence between the two of them and she wasn’t eager to know what Allison was thinking. “Say something,” she pleaded.

 

“My dad was right,” it came out like a whisper, quiet and under her breath. “I can’t believe it.” She was staring at Lydia like she had suddenly sprouted wings and horns. “Are there more?” Allison asked. Before Lydia could answer, Allison spoke again, “There are. Who is it?”

 

“This was a mistake,” Lydia said, refusing to answer. “I’d better go,” she picked up her bag and started to get up but Allison’s hand was gripping her wrist like handcuffs, pulling her back towards the bed.

 

“No,” Allison’s voice was steady, measured. “Who are the other werewolves?”

 

Lydia pulled on her arm, breaking free from Allison. “I don’t know any other werewolves. I’ve gotta go,” she said, trying to be convincing as she walked out of the room.

  
A sense of dread filled Lydia’s stomach as she got into her car and backed out of the driveway. She should have listened to Scott, she shouldn’t have told Allison. Now they were probably going to break up _and_ hunters were probably going to come after her and the rest of the pack. She slammed her fist against the steering wheel in frustration. God, she was such an idiot.

 

She pulled over on the side of the road before she broke down in frustration. Instinctively, she dug her phone out of her pocket and dialled Scott’s number. “Scott, Scott,” she said once the ringing stopped but before he had said anything. “I’m sorry – I, I made a huge mistake. I told her… but she’s like them, and now I – I don’t know what to do,” she got it all out before Scott could get a word in edgewise.

 

“Lydia, calm down,” Scott’s voice came through the speaker. “It’ll be okay. Maybe she won’t tell the rest of them.”

 

“They already know,” Lydia didn’t realize that she was crying until she tasted tears in her mouth. “I don’t know if they know about you, but they knew about me.”

 

“It’ll be fine,” Scott assured her. “They’re not going to do anything to you, I won’t let that happen.” There was a moment of pause on the line before he asked, “Do you want to come over for a bit?” Lydia felt a bit of the tension she was feeling drain out of her.

 

She nodded before she realized that she was on the _phone_ and Scott couldn’t see her nodding before she managed a hoarse, “Yes.”

 

Scott was outside when Lydia pulled up out front and she seemed to fall into his arms instinctively. The thing she liked best about Scott was that he wasn’t one to say “I told you so.” Instead, he just sat and listened to her talking. She told him about the first time she laid eyes on Allison and how she had known that they were going to be together from the very beginning. Scott was patient and kind, and Lydia could feel herself calming down from his presence alone.

 

After Lydia had calmed down and was feeling better about being alone, she got into her car and started driving home. It was a short drive – maybe five minutes – but when she was about half way there, her car engine sputtered and died. Lydia did her best to steer her car so that she was sitting on the side of the road while a sick feeling bubbled up in her stomach. She’d just gotten her car checked a week ago and there was nothing wrong with it.

 

She turned the key again, hoping that it would start, that nothing bad would happen, but it coughed a few times before giving out and dying. She didn’t want to get out – she _knew_ that it was some sort of trap. But she couldn’t sit there forever – she was an easy target.

 

Cautiously, carefully, Lydia opened the door and got out, ready to break into a run at any moment. But before she could do anything – before she’d even realized that anyone was there, Allison stepped out from behind a tree, her arrow drawn as she advanced towards her.

 

Tears were streaming down Allison’s face and she reeked of anxiety. “I’m sorry, Lydia,” her voice was soft, gentle, and for a moment, Lydia truly believed it.

 

“You don’t have to do this,” Lydia replied, trying her best to remain calm. “Please, Allison. I’m not a killer.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Allison repeated. “I _have_ to.” Before Lydia could say anything else, Allison was releasing the string of the bow and the arrow was flying through the air before sinking deep into her chest. “I’m sorry,” she whispered as Lydia lay on the ground, gasping for breath.

 

The last thing Lydia heard before the world went black was Allison’s voice, soft in her ear. “I’m sorry, Lydia. I loved you.” Lydia’s eyes opened slightly and she saw Allison’s tear-stained face hovering above her own. “I _do_ love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment/kudos if you enjoyed!
> 
> (also, I tried to make it happy, I really did.)


End file.
